Sombre, Morbid, Depressing? Well, yes. It kind of has to be. Our nature is to find such things wrong. A Punishment. They bring the "Why me?!" mentality to the fore of our attitudes and often lead to disagreements and cause people to drift, drive a wedge between themselves. I hope this never happens to me.
Over the past week I have had some bad news. One of my close friends has been diagnosed with Leukemia and 2 people from our Parish of St Cecilia whom I worked closely with were killed by the San Bruno explosion last week. It has at times been overwhelming. Luckily my "colleagues" are Priests and they have been great but my friends away from work have been their equals also. I am lucky enough to have a safety net that is spread far and wide - UK to USA. I am incredibly appreciative of my friends at this point.
What I wanted to tell you in the post is how I managed to help myself with this also. I think my attitude to our morbid title has changed over the past week. Whereas I still get choked up and teary (I have no problem telling the World this - I cry! Get over it.) I have come to look on these passings and challenges in a different light.
As for my friend...well, she is (and I quote) "A tough cookie". She is surrounded by love and support and that tells me I'm not alone in feeling love for her. It also tell me I am not abandoning someone. There is no abandonment in numbers as far as I'm concerned.
The way I look at the "Passings" of our 2 Parishioners is summed up on the notice board at the door of the Church. It reads: Jacki and Janessa Greig are in the care of the Lord. This is what my Faith teaches us. Death, whereas devastating for who remain, is the beginning of your life with your God. Your new life where you wait for the correct time when your loved one's will join you.
When I think of death I often visualise Gandalf talking to Pippin in The Lord of the Rings. He says:
Pippin: I didn't think it would end this way.
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path... One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass... And then you see it.
Pippin: What? Gandalf?... See what?
Gandalf: White shores... and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
Pippin: [smiling] Well, that isn't so bad.
Gandalf: [softly] No... No it isn't.
I think my perspective is now Trust in your beliefs (whatever they are - I'm not trying to preach my own). Without faith in something we must feel lost at these times. With Faith I am guided and reassured. With my friends and family - I am protected.
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