Life in Good Ole Blighty

Well, it has yet again been a while.

I have been home for nearly 2 weeks and Christmas is fast approaching. It's wonderful to be home, I am loving spending time with my family, and I am seeing lots of old friends, frequenting old haunts, and feeling rather at peace.

This is in spite of all that is going on with my family. Don't get me wrong here, we are all getting on famously (as we always have). Sadly though, we are facing a tough time with some health issues for one of us. I won't be sharing the details with you, dear reader. This is to keep the person happy in the current anonymity they are enjoying. It won't last long. I am incredibly proud of my family and how we are facing this trial. Honestly though, we are taking our lead from the person going through all of this. Truly inspirational attitude.

Other than this, I feel my life changing. I see my direction shifting, decisions on the horizon. Like a compass that always points north in order to show us the way, the opportunities are similar to that which I am enjoying currently. The direction is England. Away from my current home of the US of A. I was all over the place about this previously. It was as if my head were a top that continues to spin. Now, however, it has settled and I am excited about these opportunities. I am applying for two jobs. Let's see where they take me.

So, dear reader, I leave you with this: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you. Take care of yourselves and each other this festive season and, whatever your religion/faith/belief structure, have a great time over the coming weeks.

Home, James. And, don't spare the horses!

In one week I will be taking off. Therefore dear reader, you should prepare yourself for a long winded post about my leaving, arriving, and journey.

I can't wait to be home. It's been nearly a year. I have missed my family and friends, and I've missed my hometown. Nottingham, you win. I miss you. I swore I would never say that!

Thanksgiving

Today I am mostly thankful for my amazing family and the support we give each other each and every day in whatever situation life throws at us. Also for my amazing friends who are a support to me when I'm so far from home.

Big Plans!

Here it is. I'm now exactly 19 days, 18 hours, and 47 minutes away from take-off. That's right, I'm heading home again. Between now and then I have a few things planned (mainly work really):

Kindergarten and 8th Grade Thanksgiving Mass
Post Thanksgiving Retreat (this weekend)
Confirmation Family Mass and Program (week on Sunday)
Youth Group Meeting (2 weeks Sunday)
Altar Server Training (3 session with 10 kids)
Altar Server supervision (at their first Masses)
Advent Church Prep (decoration changes etc)
Reconciliation (3 sessions where I play the guitar for 2 hour straight)
Numerous Sundry activities including a mountain of admin that I need to do.

When I get home, I'm a little busy too:

Children's Nativity Play at school
Shopping Day with my Mam
Weekend reunion with my second team (they waited until I was home for it)
A few potential (but no details will be given) activities
My newest niece is being Baptised
A tour of various places in the UK to visit friends
Bo's'er to see some of my best friends
My friend Raquela is coming to our house for Christmas
My first Boxing Day in FIVE years (this is huge for my family)
Roma for a week (as usual)
3 days rest
Plane back to SF and back to work.

I have no idea why I documented this here. I suppose it's because the second list is helping me get through the first; the end is nigh and the light at the end of that tunnel is getting brighter and brighter! I can't believe it's been almost a year since I set foot on British soil...

...It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Ok people...

If you believe in God, the power of prayer, pixies, fairy dust, Mother Earth, the power of the Cosmos, it whatever you believe in, I would like to ask a favour.

Please give your prayers, good intentions, spells, or, again, whatever you believe in to my Big Sister on Thursday. It's results day for some tests.

Thank you in advance.

You spin my...

...head right round, right round.
Like a record player,
Right round, round, round!

Dear innocent reader! I'm sorry. You will over the next couple of months be reading about my emotional and personal struggle with my new possible opportunities.

I've been completely inside my head for the past 2 days. I may or may not have an amazing opportunity to go home and do what I love most.

This will be a roller coaster for all of us. I thank you for being my passengers!

What a morning

Life never fails to surprise. I have had such an interesting morning.

I can't say anything about this yet but, lets just say opportunity is knocking and I'm going answer and see where the dirty little temptress takes me.

I'm excited, but also trying to keep it together. I may be able take a step forward in my life, but it will mean change. I'll keep you posted.

Life's a book...

I had a thought today as I took a break and lounged on my sofa reading. It's quite a simple one really. Our lives could be portrayed as a book. Some of them fairytales, others horror stories. Most romantic novels (if we had our own way). I started to think about this. How I actually subconsciously imagined my life like this.

I suppose it really hit me with an email from an old friend. A friend who had shared with me some...indiscretions. Neither of us proud of this, but at the time, well, we're only human. It seems to be that seeing my smiling mug may bring up memories of a time my friend wasn't and isn't proud of. The results being I won't be seeing this person over the Christmas break when I'm back home. This made me sad, it made me feel bad, and most of all, it made think. At the time I thought myself blameless to a certain extent and this simply isn't true. It does go to show that, all things affect your life in ways you never see from your current stand point.

Back to the topic. This is the end of a chapter of my life. I always read eagerly to the end of the chapter, and can't put the book down until I'm at the end of one. The problem with this is that I am so engrossed by this point I just want to keep reading on and on!!

So, my chapter with this person ends. I may occasionally flip back some pages to see what went wrong in this part of the story, my mistakes, to apply them to another chapter in my life. So, it's a sorta sad post today. I didn't intend it to be. I think it's basically me saying goodbye. At least for now. That's the best thing about my book. There are characters that weave in and out of my story at times. I wish this character nothing but a life of happiness and success. Maybe we'll meet up again later in the story and things will be different. But, of course, that depends on the plans of the author.

Anyway, Goodbye my friend. And, good luck. Until we meet again...

Autumn/Fall

I love this time of year.

It's cold and the sun is shining. Such a wonderful feeling of being wrapped up with the sun on your face.

The leaves are browning and falling from the branches, you can kick them as you walk with a smile on your face.

This has put me in a happy mood today. I wasn't in a bad mood to begin with, so it's even better than it was.

I hope you're having a great time (even though its the beginning of the week), and I hope you're looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Wrap up warm, watch the world change, and kick the leaves with a smile on your face. Might change your day.

100

Hey, I reached 100 posts and didn't realise!

Post 101 is pointless.

Past, present, and future.

It started when I met you, it's not changed, only
you have. One of these feelings that somehow
messes with my head and makes all things seem
pointless. If one day I am without you forever I don't
think I could cope. Perhaps we can we can grow closer
again when times are different and I'm not standing on the edge waiting for
you. You will always be a part of what I once was and what
I now want. Take care of you, even if you don't, I
care.

Randomness in words? I don't know.

Second star on the right, and straight on till morning...

I was walking by the stars one night gazing down at the Earth,
it's blues and greens so far from me.
My companion was quiet,
I didn't know his name.
I didn't know our destination,
He smiled as we walked.
"Have you ever counted them?" He asked without removing his gaze from the North,
Laughing I replied: "You must be mad. They number more than anyone could count."
He turned his gaze to mine and said with a sigh: "So I once thought."
We walked in silence, me pondering his words,
Him back to gazing North with that smile on his face.
Walking for a lifetime, without worries or wonders,
Thinking on his challenge, not understanding him yet.
Finally, it seemed, although probably only a minute,
He stopped and took my hand.
"They only really number the one's you are missing,
The brightest being your foe.
I ask you to forget the star that is blinding,
Allow it guide you, it's one of life's twist.
Home is not far, if you follow your heart,
We count because we realise a simple truth:
Yes they are the ones we are missing,
But there are many left, we simply need to find."


I'm not sure if this is classed as a story or a poem. If you could enlighten me, I'd appreciate it. Just sat at my desk this afternoon and started to write. Be it good bad, it flowed nicely as I typed. Apologies for bad form.

It's been a while...

Well folks, it's been a while. I thought I'd catch you up with some of my recent events and perhaps we can, together, have a revelation; it's been a while!

The main event I would like to talk about is our annual 8th Grade Retreat. This took place up at CYO Camp and Retreat Center in Occidental California. 200 acres of redwoods away from cell reception and the noise of the city. We had 72 8th Graders and 10 High School Seniors.

There are really only a few things I want to talk about. A couple of things really stood out for me at this wonderful place.

Firstly, I would like to talk about an 8th Grader. I will leave him nameless for my own reasons. This young man gave the opening talk of our Retreat on his Changing Role in his family. He spoke with such passion, conviction, and authority about this subject. It really made me, for once, actually sit up and give my complete undivided attention (instead of planning and rehearsing in my head the next step of the retreat). When he had finished I thanked him from the bottom of my heart, he had set the bar INCREDIBLY high for the remaining peer leaders talks. WHAT a start!

The second thing I recall is having to deal with an unfortunate incident that occurred on the first night. There was some vandalism of people's beds and sleeping bags/quilts/etc... It took just over 2 hours for us to get to the bottom of it, but with perseverance and some great tactics on my bosses part, we found the culprit. Disastrous start to a retreat: Averted.

The last thing about this retreat I want to share with you are some quotes. There are three.
The first I like because it talks about facing your problems or adversity. It is an old Samurai saying: "Take an arrow to the forehead, not the back."
The second talks about bullying and how even victims can be bullies too: "Hurt people hurt people."
Lastly, this one I have a direct quote from an author. This is quite self-explanatory: "Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery." - J.K. Rowling.

So these were the highlights, at least for me, of our retreat. I think it was incredibly successful and I look forward to working with our 8th Grade more this coming year.

The second event was our Parish Festival this past weekend. We had a lot of fun, but what seems a small crowd (this is worrying as our Parish in some financial difficulties at the minute). I think that the crowd was light due to San Francisco Giants being in the World Series (and beating the Detroit Tigers to claim the title). I would simply like to mention the hard work that went into our Festival. It is always amazing to me to see the transformation of our facility and the efficient way it always run...the bar's not bad either!

The Giants won the World Series for the second time since I arrived in San Francisco and was indoctrinated into the sport of Baseball. You're welcome San Francisco!

Lastly, a few things that are on my mind at the minute. My boss has been ill recently and I'm glad to say he didn't mind leaning on me a little in his time of need. We really do have a working FRIENDSHIP. I'm pleased to say that he is much better and all looks great for the next 2 months of retreat and pilgrimage to Rome together.
It's is 41 days until I board a plane to fly home. I can't wait to see my family and friends as this is the first year I didn't return home for the summer. Let's just say, it's going to be a busy few weeks in the UK!
Money. I am flying home next summer for my birthday party and I need to start saving for that properly. However, I also need to renew my insurance, start to buy the many Christmas presents I need to buy (not to mention the birthdays between now and then), and I need some new shoes and few items of clothing. I think I should become a hermit!

Thanks for reading!

Friendship in a poem

This is simplistic in its style, even predictable in its content. But, I was sat at home and had an urge to write. It took all of five minutes...and may make me seem like I'm five years old. But, here it is.

"I think of Friendship"

Hope when it seems all hope is lost,
Is friendship at whatever cost,
The endless search for those we've lost,
At junctions we didn't want to cross.

I had a dream, it seemed so real,
But dreams tend soon to loose appeal,
I miss the times we used to steal,
Together, driving, both at the wheel.

Life has moved and that right quick,
The motion sometimes makes us sick,
Though the choices are ours to pick,
Sometimes disappear like magic tricks.

And so life goes, with ups and downs,
What's better now, to laugh or frown?
It's amazing to see how much you've grown,
Apart from me, no longer my own.

It seems one day that life will show,
It's eternal meaning to those below,
As always the winds will blow,
Singing songs whose word we may never know.

And so I look to the setting sun,
Not knowing how my life will run,
Probably a mixture of despair and fun,
A life I hope not spent as one.

But marriage they say makes one of two,
So this my wish for me and you,
Find one you know in your heart is true,
One who life won't ever un-glue.

Take life's tests and pass them all,
Together surely, we won't fall,
We're all only far as placing a call,
Friendship, we need. That is all.

Bookends

Old Friends are something very special to me. I think I qualify what it means to be an old friend differently than anyone else I know. You see, to me, and old friend needs only to be someone who you may not see for a long period of time but you settle with instantly. I have a few "Old Friends" who I have only known for the 2 and half years I have lived here. Still, they qualify.

I think this is a wonderful way to measure one's life. I was in a meeting yesterday afternoon with the Seminarian (man training to be a Roman Catholic Priest) assigned to our parish for his Pastoral Year (a year actually doing work and learning what it means to be caring towards your "flock" - a wonderful thing in my mind as I have know priests who were terrible at this. At least now they are trying to fix that). In this meeting he said something that really stuck with me, and inspired (along with other things that day/night) me to write this post.

He was telling me a story of a funeral he was once at where the priest was talking about the deceased as a man of great education and intelligence. The seminarian continued to say he was struck then by what the deceased wife had to say. She looked around the room and asked people to raise their hands of they worked with her husband at Colleges, Universities, Schools. Did they study with him? Not a single hand was raised. She said this: "Frank never did judge people by the letters after their name. He judged them by the love in their heart, the smile on their face, and the look in their eyes. Thank you for being here to support me. Thank you for being Frank's old friends."

How wonderful. What a way to exemplify what should be at the front our lives. We are in a society that tells us that the more money you make, the better. The way to make more money is to get better jobs. The way to get a better job is to get more education. When all this is accomplished, you will be happy.

I have a couple of questions. Firstly, is money everything? If not, then why is it one of the things that is most causing sleepless nights in people? Lastly, is a job not MORE than the money you earn?

My answers: 1- No. 2- Sadly, this is the way society has evolved. 3- My job certainly and I know a great many people (my old friends) who are much more focused un inspiration and living life the best way they can.

That is why they're my bookends.

Thanks for reading. This changed as I wrote it. It went from being a sentimental thing to a rant on things that rankle me at the minute. Incidentally I have a disclaimer: I am not innocent of anything I spoke of above. It just came to me as I wrote. I am not judging people who have done well for themselves or their families. Nor those who didn't have the opportunities I had for not being where they want to be.

Rant. Over.

Charity

I have been humbled by a 5 year old.

My eldest niece, Olivia, has made me feel like I should be doing something. I will be looking for a local charity here in San Francisco (suggestions welcome) to somehow raise money for. I do not know how I will do this, but I will be thinking about it greatly over the next few weeks.

The reason for this, as I have said, is my niece. Olivia was watching tv back home in Nottingham and saw and ad/commercial (delete as appropriate to your take on English) for a charity called CAFOD - Catholic Agency For Overseas Development. In the ad she saw young children starving and it upset her. She wanted to know why they had no food and she had enough. It wasn't fair. She turned to my Sister and said: "Mummy, I want to help those children. Can I raise money for them?" Michelle asked her how she wanted to do it. "Daddy ran a marathon, can I do that?"

So this Sunday, September 30th 2012, my 5 year old niece is running a mini-marathon to raise money. She will run 1.5miles and so far has raised over £500 (her target was £100). She has spoken in Churches, at school, and she has a just giving page:

http://www.justgiving.com/Olivia-Brogan

Please, if you can sponsor her. She is such an inspiration to me.

Maybe one day, I'll be half the wonderful person she is. Maybe. One day.

Silence

Some say it is golden. I think it's more like crystal; ready to shatter at a moments notice.

Perhaps I blogged too soon!

At 4am it ended!

At 3.26am it finally happened.

The beginning of the school year is one of the busiest times I have in my role as Director of Youth Ministry at St Cecilia Catholic Church in San Francisco. One of the main responsibilities I hold is to lead the Youth Group at the parish, it is never dull I can tell you!

So our largest activity, and first of the academic year, is the annual SCYG (St Cecilia Youth Group) Lock-In. Essentially 78 teenagers, 2 male chaperones, 1 female chaperone, an unwitting friend, and I, "locked in" to our school's pavilion (sports hall for the English reader). I get no sleep at all. I find myself on tenter hooks as my charges sleep and, perchance dream.

The build up is nothing less than a roller coaster ride of fun, sports, a film or two, Mass, and lots of catching up. Spirits are high to say the least! So, it comes to the time of the evening when I turn the lights down and watch. Groups form circles with their heads together, lying in sleeping bags, and telling ghost stories, jokes, etc. it is difficult for young people to settle in this kind of situation. It is expected and I rather enjoy seeing them all interact.

But...sleep. For them, not me. I am responsible for these kids, and I imagine this is what a parent feels like when their child is at a party, or children are at their house visiting. I sit up, watch over my charges, and feel a sense of fulfillment. I came half way across the world for this job. Listening to the sound of 78 young people sleeping, I don't know. It may sound weird, but it makes me smile.

At 3.26am it finally happened.

If you're not the one...

Yes. I did it. Daniel Bedingfield. I will not apologise.

Have you ever found a person you were so sure was the mythical "one"? I have. Many, MANY times. In fact, there is usually one person in my immediate presence (I use this term loosely as I am referring to ease with which we communicate these days) who, whilst talking or texting or emailing, I am thinking of completely. I have a few people in my life who fit this bill and gain an all encompassing focus from me. I am going to attempt to discover why this happens.

I think I am a fairly good reader of people, I also have a great many things that I look for in a person in order for me to like and trust them. I think I got this from the attitudes of my family members. We have an inherent want to protect each other and automatically weigh up new people as they come into our group (probably the reason we have such wonderful in-laws). So, I know when I meet someone that I will like them. Simple...right? Not really. I find that I become attached to people very easily and I seem to have surrounded myself with a very reliable group of friends. It is wonderful.

It does however have a huge drawback if you put it into the context of my title. I have a few very close female friends whom I have come to think I would like to be with. The problem is this: we're so close, they don't want to wreck our relationship. That, or they don't look at me like that, I'm the one they can always talk to.

So, "if you're not the one..." who is? Perhaps it is time for me to change my ways...either that or wait.

Inspired to write...

A good friend of mine, in fact one of the few people I know I can always rely on, has been blogging with immense gusto recently. He is the one who inspired me to write this blog, and it is fitting that reading his recent entries, I am inspired once more.

The issue I have is that I'm not sure what to write. I have usually used this as a diary of sorts, occasionally trying to dispel myths with regards to my beliefs. I think though, I want to talk about the thing that means the most to me in the world: My Family.

I had the best summer. My Mam, Dad, and little brother came to visit me in San Francisco. This was a multi-edged sword for me. It was great to have them here and be able to show them my life, how happy I am, etc. but it meant that I didn't go home. I still refer to sunny Nottingham as home. I've lived here for 2 years and 5 months. It is a great place, I have wonderful friends, and I love my job. But still, it's not home. I had been kidding myself into referring to it as such. Still not quite there.

I think the reason I, and maybe many, operate like this is the people with whom we associate home. I had 3 of them here this summer but missed the rest all the more. I find myself looking to the future, to December 10th to be precise. When I fly off home to see them all. Things like this (from my niece) do NOT help!

Let's be a little more upbeat for a second. I had the best time with the few who were here. I did things I've never done here before...which includes jumping from a horse to stop from being thrown from it! Showing people what I am about really showed me how wonderful California is. There is no end of things to do here and I've honestly only just begun exploring. I can't wait to have the rest of them visit so I can continue to explore.

The reason for this rambling blog entry is becoming clear to me. I miss my family, I don't call this home yet, but I love it here. Maybe all that's missing is a family of my own. I guess we will see how that turns out soon enough.

I am looking to the future with excitement for many different reasons. This blog may even start to have some substance other than my own personal problems!

Oh, and yes. My nieces and nephews call me Uncle BooBoo. Long story.